But Steve, what's it all mean?

Apple Inc. is hosting an invitation only press event on January 27th in San Francisco. In a tech world that guzzles Apple rumors like 5 hour energy shots, this is a confirmed fact.

We know this because like millions of other mac users we saw the leaked press invitation the day they went out. That's it up above - "Come see our latest creation". Steve Jobs has the finesse of a master impressionistic painter, the savvy of P.T. Barnum and the ability to tease with the skill of a Las Vegas floor show. The guy knows how to drum up anticipation.

Now, we know the rumors have been rampant for damn near two years that Apple was going to blow away techies once again with their take on a tablet computer. If you follow these things, the storied tablet's been right up there with the Beatles catalog showing up in iTunes for rumor frequency. Every time you think you've gotten over anticipating its release, they pull you back in. The video iPod, the iPhone, the App store, new iterations of iMacs, the AirBook. If you love using Macs it would seem an emptier world without a few good Apple product rumors swirling around.

But what we love, what we really truly admire is just how good Apple is at all of this. Running a damn close second to producing great products is Jobs and Company's ability to keep a secret while teasing the hell out of anyone watching. So it is and so it remains. So Steve, just what the hell is the invitation trying to tell us?

We're going to go with the crowd (and the sure money) and agree that there's a tablet computer waiting in the wings at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts theater on the 27th. But we can't help but wonder what the splatters of primary color on the invitation are hinting at. Is it the product itself? Nah, it's a tablet computer - no doubt there. Is there a second product being revealed? Some new cool creative software? Feels weak. There's got to be something more to it. If we've got you sucked into the guessing game, let us lead on and give you our best guesses at just what Steve's got up his turtleneck sleeve.

1. It's going to be a tablet, but Apple's going all retro and returning to the pop colors of it's original iMacs. Remember the sensation that caused? Damn near revolutionized industrial design. But we love the sleek aluminum and glass and we think Apple does too - nah, it ain't the color of the product.

2. It's the highest tech, sleekest designed, plays music to shoot by, paintball gun ever conceived. Just checking to see if you were still paying attention.

3. It's the concept for the new store design - registered Mac users bring their kids to a new Apple store the day before it opens to the public and there are all of these paint balloons, and... sorry. Moving on...

4. If it were all yellow splotches and there was a submarine in there somewhere, we'd be thinking that Beatles iTunes thing, yet again.

5. New, easily washable computer screens?

6. Here's one that stretches back in time - how about a new MacPaint program? OK, that's ridiculous but it's such fun to reminisce. We think we're getting closer though...

7. Steve, are you hinting at some new capability? A new touch interface that can create splotches of color (as an example) from multiple finger taps that run and drip with real physics guiding them? A capability that might open the door to new interfaces, expanded virtual keyboards, layering, blending, perhaps splattering as it senses a touch hovering slightly over the screen? Nah, leave it to game designers and apps. We want big news. Sensational stuff.

Steve, just what the hell is up with the paintball invite?

We think we've got it. If the tablet was going to be called a "tablet" would the invitation have looked like stone? If it was going to be called the "iSlate" would the invitation have looked like a chalkboard? Maybe. But the invitation looks like... wait for it... a painter's canvas.

The new Apple tablet will be called the "Canvas". (We think the "i" thing is way last decade.) You heard it here first. Hey Steve, after all of that, if we're right - how about a free one?